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a start…

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands

in moments of comfort and convenience,

but where he stands at times of

challenge and controversy.

        

~Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Thus, while this is only the first post on this blog, I feel that there is no more appropriate time and circumstance to begin with than…the present.

 

At the present, I have been inundated with one emotionally exhausting event after another…which I will not be detailing in full here today. Though I am struggling to put my thoughts to paper because there are simply too many new experiences to organize and convey without forgetting how one or the other has unfolded.

 

My English professors would surely bean me for saying such a thing, seeing as outlines, structure and a well rounded beginning and end are key to getting one’s point across in the narrative form. I’ve never been one for such strict guidelines when it comes to self-expression. Forgive me, in advance dear friends as my words here today will not be as eloquent as Martin Luther King Jr. but hopefully just as moving.

 

I do not know why I feel so personally responsible for every little thing that happens around me. I have never understood this unnerving need I have to right what is wrong in my family, my society and moreover, the world. I am always being told to slow down, take better care of myself and relax. How? How can I possibly relax with so much left undone, unspoken, unresolved?

 

I spend eight hours a day on a computer; mostly absorbed in the internet–browsing, researching, reading and watching–dissolving my old opinions and beliefs and forming fresh ones. Over the last three years I have torn down every belief system that I once held sacred. I have, through my own cognitive dissonance, secured a foundation by which I am beginning to mold a sound structure of wisdom through negative experiences, patience through anguish and compassion through misunderstanding. I have been careful to recognize my own hypocrisies, to heed my own advice and I have purposefully and willingly been a ruthless critic of my own words, temperament and behavior.

 

I did not start this blog in order to parade my self-discovery around, like scripture, for other lemmings to follow suit. I will not be trying to win people over here and while being cordial is sometimes all one can do to avoid confrontation, I dare not be fake with you all, so as not to misrepresented by my own written, not spoken, language, which can often times be taken out of context when emotions and feelings are involved.

 

So there will be no arrogant or otherwise omnipotent word wielding rants from me against anyone who has a different point of view from my own. I expect that same courtesy and open minded respect will be extended to your brothers and sisters that come here seeking this freedom to speak as well.

 

You may use this space and time to hypothesize, expound, justify, elucidate or deny the topic at hand, but please try to refrain from projecting your fears and your error in judgment, against others. I hold out hope that this space will come to represent a common or middle ground, on which anyone of any race, religion or age may come…to let their guard down and connect in real and significant ways.

 

Maybe the truths that will be expressed here aren’t truths that you hold and never will be. Maybe the topics of discussion here won’t cover ALL perspectives, ideas and manipulations of thought. Maybe that’s where you come in, or don’t.

 

This blog will be what we make it…together…much like our existence in this dream we call life. Negative or positive, let all opinions be heard here and all thoughts be brought out, in to the light…for we are one in our hate and in our love of being and we shall rise or fall of our own volition.